Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Adebimpe The Facebook Girl Season 6 {Episode 10&11}

Episode 10.
ME: *** almost choked with rice on hearing that question****
FUNMI: sorry, take some water please. Or was it my question that choke you?
ME: ***smiled*** not at all.
FUNMI: ok, now that you are alright, will you now answer me?.
ME: hmmmmmm, I don’t have a girlfriend.
FUNMI: why?
ME: the last one I had broke up with me because I wasn’t buoyant to meet up with her demands then.
FUNMI: and you think it’s her fault?
ME: **smiled*** then whose fault?.
FUNMI: Are you not the one who told her you work in a bank?
ME: ***laughed***
FUNMI: yes now. So what do you expect from her?, not to make demands when she knew well that her guy is a banker?
ME: funny enough, it was before I got the bank job. Then, I was teaching in a secondary school earning 15,000naira monthly.
FUNMI: ***laughed*** eyah. Now that you have been working in the bank for over four months, why don’t you get her back?
ME: since she couldn’t endure with me during the tough times, then she isn’t needed now that I’m bit ok.
FUNMI: ok ooo. Now that you are a banker, don’t you have another girl?
ME: ***smiled*** lagos girls are too expensive to maintain. And with the little salary I earn. I’m not sure I can meet up with their demands.
FUNMI: hmmmmm, onihaxy, you must be very stingy.
ME: no ooo, it’s not been stingy, it’s about cutting your coat according to your size.
FUNMI: hmmmm, who is your crush in the bank, don’t lie oooooooo.
ME: hmmmmmm. I don’t have any crush ooooooo.
FUNMI: you mean you don’t like anyone out of all the pretty girls in that bank?.
ME: ****smiled*** I like most of them as a friend.
FUNMI: so why don’t you date anyone of them?
ME: you know I’m a project staff with just 6 month contract. So I need to figure out destination after the end of the contract. And besides, I heard that girls don’t always date project staff because they aren’t staying long with the bank.
FUNMI: hmmmmmmmm. So you mean you don’t have feelings for anybody in the bank.
ME: hmmmmmmmmmm. Yeah, except for one lady sha who happen to be a superior colleague.
FUNMI: **smiled***. That aside, what are people saying about me?
ME: what people are saying about you as how?
FUNMI: I mean among your colleagues.
ME: nothing much oooo. Some fear you, some call you query mama, some call you silent lioness.
FUNMI: really?
ME: yes.
FUNMI: alright.
We finished eating, stood up and walked toward the reception. Funmi presented the receipt to the cashier and was about opening her purse when I told her “let me pay”.
She returned her purse back to her bag and we drove back to the bank while we continued to gist long the way. Funmi thanked me for the meal and she told me that she would be looking forward to more outings.
I got back to the bank and went to meet my other team members at their office just to check on them before going to my own office. On getting there, I was bombarded with numerous questions.
“Where are you coming from?”
“I saw you in Query Mama’s car”
“Where did both of you went to?”
“Are you related to her?”
“You are doing eye service abi?”
“Or was it because you are sitting at her entrance”
“I hope you won’t see her bad side someday”
“Abeg ooo. Remember us in your kingdom during promotions ooo”
The questions and discussions were just going on spontaneously and I shocked to realize that people had not been actually minding their business. I was frustrated, left them and returned to my own office only to meet the “gossip ladies club” in my office waiting to interview me on my outing.
EPISODE 11
I got home at night after work and couldn’t help but spend a great deal of time playing back in my head all that happened earlier in the day, I really was so happy that I went out on a date with my boss and it was as if I just won a jackpot.
I finally picked up my phone and logged on to whatsapp to chat with Segun.
ME: hi Segun
SEGE: how far Onihaxy.
ME: I dey jare. Something happened at work today.
SEGE: really?, oya gist me.
ME: I was on my seat when Funmi called me and I went to her office. She said she wanted to send me on an errand to get food for her.
SEGE: ok
ME: I told her that I would buy it and pay from my purse just like you advised. She couldn’t believe her ears and suggested rather take her out for lunch instead of buying a takeaway since I’m paying for it.
SEGE: waoooooooo. So what happened next?
ME: we drove out to one big restaurant and hanged out for lunch. The total cost of our expenses was close to 4k. The money pain me oooooo. Because that amount is my weekly budget.
SEGE: don’t look at it from that angle. Instead, look at it from the angle of investment. At least you have earned a class from her with that simple approach. And besides, how much is 4k compared to the 30k she gave you for rent 3 weeks back?.
ME: hmmmmmmm.
SEGE: yes na. So what were the discussions you guys had during the outing?, or was it just eating?.
ME: funny. She asked of my girlfriend.
SEGE: girlfriend kee?, has she met Betty before?
ME: no oooo. She asked in this manner “how is your girlfriend?, tell me about her”
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. Na interview be that oooo. So what was your response?
ME: I told her I don’t have anyone at the moment.
SEGE: correct boy. She didn’t ask why?
ME: she asked and I told her I was heartbroken 8 months back and since then, I decided to stay out of relationship.
SEGE: that’s not too bad sha.
ME: she asked if I love or have feelings for anyone inside the bank.
SEGE: omo see practical question. So what was your reply?
ME: I told her I don’t have feelings for anyone except someone who happened to be my superior.
SEGE: chaiiii, see good strategic answer. Correct boy. One bottle of Alomo for you for that response. You don dey blend be that.
ME: hahahahaha.
SEGE: what did she say after your response?
ME: she smiled and changed topic.
SEGE: it shows that she already understood where you are going but she doesn’t want to be too forward.
ME: really?
SEGE: yeah. She just wants you to be man enough to push further.
ME: man enough?, she said something like that when I was in her office.
SEGE: really?. What happened and why did she say so?
ME: when I said I will go to the eatery, buy the take away from my purse and bring it to her in her office, she said I’m not man enough because I’m supposed to take her out and not to go out and bring takeaway. That was when we decided to go out together.
SEGE: correct madam, she already gave you all the code, she just wanted you to be man enough to decode it.
ME: hmmmmmmm.
SEGE: yes na. Don’t worry, we will take about that later.
ME: ok boss.
SEGE: were you the one that drove the car?
ME: no ooooooo.
SEGE: why? Haven’t you started driving the car Betty gave you?
ME: no, I’m still learning. But in two to three weeks time, I should start taking the car out after getting my temporary license.
SEGE: it’s ok. How is your wife?, hope you are hearing from her?
ME: who?, Bimpe?
SEGE: you no well, wetin concern me with that stupid girl.
ME: hmmmmm
SEGE: are you guys still talking?
ME: no ooo. It’s been long. Since that time Betty saw her watch in my room.
SEGE: ok oooo. Thank God you are now taking to advice.
ME: yes boss.
SEGE: I was referring to Betty. Hope she is fine?
ME: yeah. We always do video chat on skype and chat almost everyday.
SEGE: hmmmmmmm. I go love ooooo.
ME: Abi now.
SEGE: my regards to her oooooo.
ME: ok boss
SEGE: I want to take a break from Akure for some days.
ME: why?, what happened?, you have impregnated someone abi?
SEGE: you no well, I didn’t impregnate anyone jor, I just want to change environment for some days.
ME: come to Lagos now, at least I live alone.
SEGE: ok, no problem. I will come next week.
ME: ok boss. At least, you will meet Bimpe again.
SEGE: two of you no well. If I see her again this time, I will strangle her to death.
ME: hahahahahahahaha. You are not serious. Let’s chat tomorrow jaree. I’m going to work tomorrow morning.
SEGE: alright, good night.

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